Just in case you run across this book whilst scanning the shelves at Borders, I am sending out this warning.
* Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III.
This is one of the few books I have ever read that I would never recommend to anyone. (This and the biography of Abigail Adams that I read in 7th grade – it made me want to stab my eyes out; so I decided to cut out her picture from the cover of the book with an exacto knife. Lol Yeah, it was that bad.)
Anyway, Satan Burger is about a burger shop called Satan Burger that is run by the actual Satan in what is supposed to be the future Earth before the death of humanity. The protagonist, Leaf, and his strange friends all work at Satan Burger in exchange for souls because God has given up on the human race. Heaven is closed in this book, so there’s this vagina, called the Walm (also the cover of the book – a lady’s vagina), that serves as a gateway between dimensions, constantly spewing out demon-possessed creatures and blue women. Leaf, who happens to have God’s eyes and can leave his own body to observe the world around him, gets impregnated by a blue woman and then meets Jesus. It’s a twisted story about the end of the world that is disjointed, apocalyptic, and bizarre. As much as I love South Park and twisted stories and characters, this was just too much. You have been warned.
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